Usually I give it up for free. Now I feel used and I haven’t even held the check in my hand, just a contract promising me $250. (I hear that’s good money for what I just did.)
Yeah, that’s right. I sold a piece of myself…A piece of writing.
I thought it would feel better, but now I’m preoccupied with the shame of it: It wasn’t that good. People are probably judging me right now! Also I’m stuck in a kind of literary psychosis wondering what it means that Narrative magazine published my istory as part of Narrative Backstage, which is like pay-per-view. Was the piece not quite good enough for the free online version? (What kind of a question is that?)
Aw, hell. What am I doing? I should be grateful anyone’s willing to pay money for my writing. And I AM. Really.
It’s just that once money is exchanged for something…I don’t know…that something feels sorta cheapened. I don’t understand this feeling, but I’m making a real effort to focus on the good parts. Namely that my face appears in a line up next to other REAL writers in a literary magazine that I LOVE.
So thank you, universe (and Narrative people). I hope you enjoy the tiny peek at my private stuff.
Ross Gale-
You deserve the money for your work! Congratulations!
meagan mac-
Thanks, Ross. I really need to learn to be more gracious. Maybe I should go to a class on that…
meagan mac-
…a “class” class? har har.
talesfromthemotherland-
Congratulations Meagan! Hell yeah you deserve it and cheap but not easy… right? Way to go!
meagan mac-
Thanks, Dawn. By the way, I envy all the travelling you’ve been doing. How’s your writing? You sound WAY busy. I don’t know how you even blog as much as you do. You’re awesome.
talesfromthemotherland-
Thanks! I feel very lucky to have done all this traveling recently and the current series of blog entries have been pretty well received, as I highlight our trip to Peru. I have been lagging on the blog though, short of my usual 3 entries a week. The trip was so amazing and meant so much to me, it’s hard to sit down and put words to page. It may take awhile to write about the whole 2+ week trek and Amazon adventure! Stay tuned… Again, Mazel Tov on the Narrative piece!
talesfromthemotherland-
Oh, and hey, doesn’t the fact that we have to pay to read this, make your writing that more “exclusive!” Just the opposite my dear… you scored a step up from the free stuff me thinks. Sweeeet.
meagan mac-
You’re too kind, my friend. Way. Too. Kind.
I’ve been unable to do much of anything productive this summer and after finding out about this publishing thingy. It’s about time I pull up my big girl pants and get on with life.
talesfromthemotherland-
You make me laugh. Out loud. I hear you. I find myself very unmotivated since our return from Peru and spend an awful lot of time doing, almost nothing. I think you deserve to crow a bit and enjoy this success. You are very talented, and it’s fun to see your writing out there. Keep it up big girl!
elamonster-
Congrats! I sort of know what you mean about the embarrassment/awkwardness/God versus mammon anxiety, but I say let it go–this is awesome news!
love
Ela
meagan mac-
Thank you, Ela! I can’t wait to see you next week. Hope you’re doing well. Thanks for the comment and the encouragement.
Meagan
jrlambert-
Congratulations, I will have to plunk down the $4 some time soon!
meagan mac-
Thanks! There’s actually a ton of great stuff in Narrative Backstage. Consider “donating” to Narrative and accessing ALL of it 🙂
Glad you stopped by!
Meagan
Air Cooled Underware-
I have to tell you “cousin”- the opening teaser is a great grabber. super Congrats for getting some real world sustenance ( aka CASH) for doing what you obviously do very well!
When it comes to your writing, there is never ‘Nuff said. :-0
meagan mac-
Thanks, cuz. The payment finally came in yesterday. Felt like it took forever, and I was starting to sweat a bit, thinking I’d mistaken it for junk mail and accidentally thrown it away. whew. I made a copy of the check, which I will be putting on my office wall. Because I’m a nerd. I’ve been a bit blog-absent this summer, but I’m gonna change my ways and will stop by and visit you 🙂
Air Cooled Underware-
Oh Don’t delay — do it today! lol You will see why I called you “cousin” I even have just bragged about you here http://aircooledunderware.wordpress.com/2012/09/01/would-you-prefer-hot-pink-underwear/
meagan mac-
AWESOME! Thanks so much Nuff Said! I’m thrilled that you gave me a brag! I’m heading out right now (into the real world), but would love to brag back at you. I’ll have to think of something creative…