My friend Carrie Mesrobian is getting ready to have her first novel published. With a real publisher and everything. The book is YA and is going to be rad and she’s gonna be famous and all that.

So yesterday, Carrie mentioned that she still doesn’t have a title for said forthcoming novel, which she’s just been calling Book #1.

She didn’t ask for suggestions.

BUT being the good friend and helper that I am, I thought I’d send her a list of possibilities.

I don’t know in detail what her novel’s about, but I didn’t let that stop me.

Here’s my list of suggested titles. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments!

I just included this image because I like this bad book title.

The Impossible First Life of [Insert Character Name]
Private School for the Perfect Kids
Perfect School for the Private Kids
School for Kids with Perfect Privates
Linger, But Don’t Actually Stay
When I Killed My Parents
When My Parents Killed Me
When My Parents Killed My Friends
I Had Sex, Have You? (It’s OK)
Her Dark Fabric
Sewing is Funner Than You Think
The Owl’s Wife
The Time Traveling Owl’s Wife
The Elegance of the Nutria
Don’t Look At Me
Don’t Look At Me, I’m Hideous
Look Away
Don’t Stare At Me You Fucking Ass
Open Me
Pandora’s Assbox
Alice Is Dead
The Summer of 2069
The Insiders
The Imperfects
A Rant About Modern America
The Chambermaid’s Tale
The Chamber Pot’s Tale
Shit My Toilet Says