My ridiculous hair.

I need to cut my hair off. It’s long and heavy and ridiculous.

But I don’t want to. Maybe long hair reminds me of being young…

That’s the problem, see? I’m NOT young. I’m on the verge of forty, and the locks need to go before I “cross over.”

So today I went back to Megan, the awesome hair designer chick who did the stellar cut and blow-out on my cat pee day in April.

I brought my daughter along for moral support and tried to psyche myself up for the change.

But then I couldn’t do it. I only had the guts for a trim.

In my defense, I have a whole seven months before the big 4-0, and I need every second to work up my courage and figure out a reasonable style for the transformation.

God help me.

Even though I didn’t do the drastic chop today, I’m glad I went to see Megan. I needed it. My hair was a mess and so was I.

I blabbed the whole time about my last blog and about the anime Girlie from the busway mural and about my embarrassing bouts of self-loathing in my writing life.

Megan was awesome–she listened like a saint, suggested I find my own fearless anime avatar, AND gave me another kick-ass cut and blow-out. It IS easier to feel confident when your hair is rockin’.

Despite my own lack of courage in the barber chair (or perhaps because of my personal fail), my daughter and I spent the afternoon watching the movie Brave. 

I love animated people. They always do the right thing. They have all sorts of trials and tribulations. They face more dramatic and dangerous challenges than anything I ever experience, and yet life works out for them. And they manage to look beautifully disheveled while they set a better example of how to deal with adversity than us real people.

The theater was dark, so I let myself cry a little during the more sentimental moments. I felt better afterward.

Once again, a vicarious heroine experience saves my day.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. It fits my current genre-focus on “girl coming-of-age stories.” (I guess that’s a genre.)

Plus, the girl (Princess Merida) had red hair and a nice mom. I could identify with that.

Sometimes I need to be reminded that stories can be engaging, even if they don’t contain rape, chemical addiction, or self-mutilation. Although the dad DID have a wooden leg.

The movie’s basically about growing up, facing the expectations of your family, and finding your own way. I care about those things. Much of my own writing grapples with those challenges.

Unlike Princess Merida, I didn’t do anything brave today. In fact, one could argue that I committed acts of cowardice.

But at least now I feel braver. And the feeling reminds me of courage and courage can make a person braver and there’s always a chance that I’ll do something brave today. Or tomorrow.

And in case you’re wondering, I DID tip Megan appropriately this time.

So at least karma’s back on my side.